The Wedding Dress

The Wedding

Aug 5

The dress I wore on our wedding day was the fourth dress I bought.

I kept buying what I thought I wanted, only to realize that it still didn’t feel right. Instead of settling for a perfectly beautiful dress that I had already bought, I kept looking. I felt like I hadn’t found “the one”.

I’m not usually this picky. When I need something, I make do with the first or second thing I find. I don’t put too much thought into it because that would drive me crazy. I’ve learned though, that this lack of thought in my important purchases often ends up with me having things I don’t really love. In the past, I’ve settled for less not only in material things, but in big things like relationships.

So there I was, driving myself crazy with this not-finding-the-right-dress thing. I felt annoyed with myself. I talked to a couple of my friends about it. I think I drove them crazy, too! I would tell them I found a dress and I would be all excited and they would ask for photos of the dress and then they would swoon and then, inevitably, I’d start questioning the dress I bought. I hated overthinking each dress, but it just didn’t feel right.

I thought my search was over with the third dress I bought, a dress I had admired and loved for months. It was everything that I always thought I wanted. It checked all my boxes. It had an open back, it had beautiful lace details, and it felt comfortable. But even after I thought I had found THE ONE, I still felt restless.

I decided to do another bridal shop visit just for fun. I told my sister that I wanted something that feels like the woman I am today. But during my appointment, I noticed that I was trying on dresses that looked just like the ones I already had.

That was frustrating because I realized that something just wasn’t right about these dresses. I had an unsettling feeling about each one. Somehow they felt like a repeat of the worn out ideals of the past. Each one of these dresses felt too much like the Old Meg.

The past versions of me still matter, but I’ve evolved into a woman who is much more confident in her skin. The past versions of me always needed and depended on the validation of others. Now, I validate myself because I’m fully validated by my Creator.

I’m different today because of the way I’m loved. The love I have found is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. From the beginning, I’ve had peace about this relationship, even though I knew it would be challenging to one day blend a family and be in a role I’ve never been in before. This love is safe and sets me free all at once. This love is full of wonder, depth, and purpose. I wanted a dress that feels like this love.

In the final minutes of my bridal appointment, I grabbed a completely different dress off of the rack. It didn’t even look like a wedding dress. When I saw myself in the mirror, I felt bold. It was different and it felt good. It fit me perfectly. Not a single alteration would need to be made. So I trusted myself and bought it.

Wearing this dress on my wedding day felt like everything I’ve become as a woman — unafraid to be fully seen. Confident to be fully me. No longer willing to settle. Grown. Sexy. Classy. And it still has that vintage vibe that embodies my old soul.

Since it’s more of a cocktail style dress, I can easily wear it again and again. And I plan to wear my wedding dress again because this love I have found is one that I want to celebrate over and over and over.

🤍🖤 This is your one wild and precious life. Be picky when it counts. Don’t settle.