19 Signs That You Are Married to an Ex-Amish Woman
I recently married the colorful Meg Delagrange. She is my best friend and soulmate. She’s beautiful, smart, gregarious, and a Jesus lover.
Meg is a caucasian woman, and I am a black Grenadian man. Together, we are the happy parents to our blended, mixed tribe of five beautiful children.
Our interracial marriage isn’t unique, nor is it uncommon as it once would have been. However, it’s still different. What’s more intriguing about my wife, Meg, is that she’s ex-Amish. Everyone knows her as “Meg”, but her given, Amish name is Anna.
To reiterate, I’m of Caribbean heritage. I love curry chicken, mangoes, cricket, and a good game of dominos. I’m not Amish, nor have I ever interacted with anyone who was Amish. Ever.
The more Meg and I continue to live together, the more I continue to discover and learn about the uniqueness of her ex-Amish culture. I have composed a list of 19 signs that you are married to an Amish woman. This is not exhaustive as I’ll continue to add to the list the longer we grow together.
Ok, let’s go.
1. The black hat. It’s the classic Amish symbol typically worn by men. However, my ex-Amish wife likes to wear her black hat as not only a fashion statement but also to pridefully and rebelliously celebrate her background.
2. Big family, no problem. When I was a single-dad with my four children, strangers would give me the sympathetic look, followed by comments like, “Oh man, looks like your hands are full!” Amish women are not intimidated by a big family. In fact, Meg is the first of eight siblings! As a result, she has embraced our colorful and expanded tribe of five children.
3. Large portions. My ex-Amish wife doesn’t know how to cook small meals. Her portions are often an army size, especially, when we get together with her family. It’s food galore!
4. Bulk food stores. It’s the place to go shopping because things are much cheaper, right? They tend to buy things even when there's no need. If it’s big and on sale, it’s a deal.
5. Alien language. Whenever our dog, Buddy, gets into trouble, he gets reprimanded in either Dutch or German.
6. The Whirley Pop. Amish appear to be popcorn addicts. Meg can eat popcorn for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If you're sad, eat popcorn... if it’s raining outside, eat popcorn... if you're celebrating something, eat popcorn... if you're sick, why not have some popcorn. It’s the solution for everything. It’s almost sinful to watch a movie without a bushel of popcorn. And here’s the deal, microwave popcorn won’t do. The popcorn has to be made in a Whirley Pop which turns black over time because it’s never supposed to be washed. Ever.
Tap here to get this kitchen gadget on Amazon. According to my wife, you can’t live without one.
7. Stainless steel bowl and speckled enamelware. What will hold the ginormous batch of popcorn? Enormous stainless steel bowls are typically used to house the popcorn on Sunday nights. These bowls can be used for washing dishes, as well as, bathing babies. Meg also owns a speckled pitcher that she fills with water to keep in the fridge and matching speckled pans for baking.
8. Mayonnaise. This white substance is a must have in the pantry.
9. The need to be grounded. Walking barefooted around the house or outside is preferable when possible.
10. The soft sweep broom. Meg’s sister, Rebekah, swears by these brooms. Meg brought two to our home when we got married. Then her mother gave us one more when she came to visit. Our home feels like a Harry Potter movie with all these brooms around the house.
11. Quilts. If you marry an ex-Amish woman, she will own several handmade quilts.
12. A visit to a leather shop. Your Amish wife will take you to a leather shop at some point.
13. Horses. Amish people know everything about horses. My wife does not own a horse, but she has family and friends who do. As a result, our children now enjoy the experience of horse riding. This is a win!
14. Keen knowledge of farm animals. Most people have sung the preschool song, “Old McDonald Had a Farm”, yet, some have only seen these animals in a picture book, or at the local petting zoo. Well, my ex-Amish wife has taken it a step further and has real 'farm' experience in knowing how to milk cows and care for chickens.
15. Entrepreneurial mind. Most Amish women have helped in some type of family business during their childhood. Meg cofounded a business that was featured on Fox Business News, she's also taught business classes at the collegiate level, such as Belmont University. Additionally, she teaches a business masterclass, as well as, consults with businesses. Meg constantly encourages her friends to start their own businesses because in her mind, anything is possible.
16. Built tough. It seems like Amish women know how to do everything. Meg knows how to do construction projects such as laying titles, painting, sheet-rocking, or laying hardwood flooring.
17. Resourceful. And if Meg doesn’t know how to do something... no problem. She knows people from her background who can. Since Amish people tend to be less trusting of those outside of their culture, it's very common for them to help those within their community.
18. No work on Sundays. It’s the Sabbath. The Lord’s day. No business projects or jobs of any type goes on the seventh day. None. Zip. Nada!
19. What rules? One of the marks of being ex-Amish is the fact that you have broken the rules. It’s why you are considered an “ex.” When Meg sees a sign that says “DO NOT ENTER”, in her mind it means “ENTER.” Stop equals GO! She loves, loves, loves breaking the rules, defying stereotypes, and challenging systems of beliefs that create limitations or promote suppression.
Photo Credit: Sarah Pagano Photography
What about you?
Are you married to someone who is or was Amish? If so what can you add to the list?
Or what difference have you noticed by marrying someone from another culture?
