Five Ways to Love Yourself This Valentine’s Day!

During the years when Kelvin and I were both single, we learned the importance of truly loving ourselves. Understanding self-love was crucial before we could fully love another. We had to connect with our own emotions to be emotionally available in a relationship. It's key! After marriage, it's easy for people to lose themselves—whether in their partner, in parenting, or in their roles. That’s why we are intentionally committed to ongoing individual counseling and marriage counseling because we don’t want to repeat the mistakes from the past. Counseling and a variety of other practices equip us not only with holistic healing methods as well as the tools we need to build a healthy marriage. We want to do more than just survive; we want to thrive! We’re here to live at our full relational, mental, physical, and spiritual capacity.

You only get ONE life to live - how will you choose to live it? That’s why we encourage self-love and personal care. At the end of last year, we recommitted to new self-care regimes, and just two months into the new year, we’re flourishing both personally and in our marriage. Every time we get off track, we make whatever shifts we need to make to get ourselves back into alignment.

Here are some practical ways to love yourself this Valentine’s!

1. Install a Mineral Water Shower Head

A few months ago, my therapist told me how much she loves her mineral water shower head, which filters water and adds minerals for hair and skin health. Early this year, I installed one in our bathroom, and the difference is remarkable. No more intensely itchy skin caused by Colorado's dry climate and our hair health has noticeably improved! Now, I'm planning to install mineral shower heads in all our bathrooms—so the kids won’t keep stealing ours.

2. Make Time for a Mindful Movement

More than a decade ago, while living in Japan, I was introduced to somatic practices that have deeply impacted my healing and ongoing well-being. Take time to connect with your body through mindfulness practices, somatic movement (this is a great introduction if you’re new to it), or apps like Pause or Calm. Kelvin and I have been using the Pause app together lately, making time for mindful moments whenever life starts spinning fast. Sometimes we use it together at night before we go to sleep!

3. Book a Solo Date

Today Kelvin has planned a special Valentine’s date for us, but we also cherish our solo outings. Some of our favorite solo dates locally are: wandering through the Denver Art Museum followed by an afternoon restaurant reservation at The Ponti, a long walk at Bear Creek Park west of Morrison, or a sunset picnic at the Lost Gulch Lookout above Boulder. Solo dates are highly recommended!

4. Sauna Sessions

Sweating it out in a sauna, whether post-workout or in an infrared sauna, can be incredibly detoxifying. Last night, after a weightlifting class, Kelvin and I enjoyed a sauna session together—it was exactly what we needed, and we slept like babies! Earlier this week I was feeling under the weather but I’m already noticing a speedy recovery, thanks to the sauna.

5. Reading for Pleasure

Even if you’re pressed for time, setting aside just 30 minutes to read can be a wonderful form of self-care. Last year, I read a novel for the joy of it, letting myself get lost in an imaginary journey. This was actually difficult for me at first. My mind kept assaulting me with all the things I needed to DO, but the more I stuck with it and kept reading, the more I got into it and enjoyed it. For high performers, I highly recommend taking the time to slow down and indulge in this simple pleasure every so often.

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Let us know if you try any of these practices, or share your favorites!